“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky
I heard a radio announcer ask an interesting question during a football game. He said, “Is Oregon playing to win, or are they playing not to lose?” What a powerful distinction.
That same question has been echoing in my mind lately, popping up in different conversations and contexts. And I think it’s worth asking ourselves: Are we playing to win in life, or are we simply playing not to lose?
This mindset shows up in every area—business, relationships, personal goals, even our finances. And make no mistake, our focus shapes our behavior, which in turn shapes our results.
Let’s take business, for example. How would your marketing, sales, or customer service efforts change if you were focused on being the best—not just staying afloat? What would shift if you were all-in on winning rather than avoiding failure? Which mindset do you think leads to greater success?
Or consider building wealth. Managing your money with the intent to “win” looks very different than simply trying not to lose it. Which approach is more likely to help you grow and thrive financially?
Now let’s talk about romance. Whether you’re dating or in a long-term relationship, are you striving to create a fulfilling, thriving partnership—or just trying to avoid conflict or loss? Which approach do you think brings deeper connection and lasting love?
Too often, people make decisions based on the fear of losing, rather than the excitement of possibility. They play to win in one area, yet hold back in another. You probably know someone who’s killing it in their career but struggling in their personal life—or the other way around.
In my experience, the most fulfilled people are those who play to win. Yes, that comes with risks: rejection, setbacks, disappointments. But playing not to lose doesn’t protect you from those things—it just limits your chances of achieving something extraordinary.
So this week, take a moment to reflect. In each area of your life, ask yourself honestly: Am I playing to win, or playing not to lose?
If there’s an area where you want to grow, get clear on what success looks like to you. Write it down. Put it somewhere you’ll see it every day. Let it serve as a reminder of what you’re moving toward—not what you’re trying to avoid.
Review it often. Get support if you need it. I know a great coach! And little by little, you’ll build a new habit—one that aligns with a winning mindset and opens the door to a more fulfilling life.
Here’s to playing full out—and winning on your terms!