A young man was talking to his grandfather one day about his dilemma in deciding whether he should continue on his current path of pursuing his dreams even though the future was uncertain. He described his feeling inside as one of two dogs fighting.
When his grandfather asked him to describe this feeling in more detail he told him that it was as if each of the dogs was holding onto an object that represented his dreams. The dogs each had a hold of the object and were pulling hard in opposite directions. One dog represented all of his doubts: the uncertainty about the future, things that got in his way, his fears of being able to pull it off, etc. The other dog represented the possibilities: a fulfilling career path, excitement, making a positive difference, and more.
The young man asked his grandfather how he could know which of the dogs would win, so he could decide how to proceed. His grandfather, being a man of wisdom replied, “The one that you feed.”
Haven’t we all been in the young man’s shoes at one time or another? We may not have had the same visual of two dogs fighting, but we have certainly had dreams that we were uncertain about pursuing. As we moved forward, we hit roadblocks and challenges that left us feeling confused about our choices. We wondered if we were on the right path because it was so hard.
I had the good fortune to attend an inspiring workshop in early October where we talked about our dreams and goals. The presenter, Marcia Weider, shared an example of what often happens to us as we make changes and stretch ourselves. She talked about driving to an event and getting a flat tire. If you are committed to getting to the destination, you view this as an inconvenience, fix the flat and go on your way. You might be a few minutes late, but that’s about all. The flat is quickly forgotten.
On the other hand, you may have some doubts about attending: it might not be as good as you hoped and you will have wasted a sunny Saturday indoors, nobody may talk to you, you have things to do at home, etc. If you have doubts, then the flat can become “a sign” that you really shouldn’t be going. In fact, if you focus on your doubts, anything can become “a sign” to give up on reaching your destination and go back home where you are comfortable: a wrong turn, bad weather… you name it.
This sort of thing comes up in all areas of our lives: career, relationships, going on vacation, fitness pursuits… you name it. Whenever we decide to pursue something new, there will be doubts and challenges that come up. The path is rarely completely smooth on the way to a new destination. We may have to blaze a trail or climb some mountains along the way. We may have to learn new skills or ways of relating to others. It is uncomfortable to change. That’s why we call things as they are our “comfort zone”. When we leave it, it is uncomfortable. Guaranteed. And, the more significant the change, the more uncomfortable it is.
As you think about your own goals and dreams, I invite you to look at where you are focusing your attention. Are you feeding the dog that represents your fears and doubts, so that dog will become stronger and ultimately win, sending you back to your comfort zone? Or, are you feeding the dog that represents the dreams and the possibilities that lay before you?
When we waffle between the two choices we create more difficulties for ourselves because our energy is divided. When we commit to one path, we become better problem solvers because all of our energy is focused on accomplishing our desired result. We’re not distracted by uncertainty and doubt.
When you find yourself feeling like the young man with two dogs fighting, stop and ask yourself, “What can I do today to move me towards my dreams?” Then act on the answer. It may be scary, but isn’t it ultimately more frightening to imagine a life where everything stays exactly the same forever?
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